Feeling sorry for myself

I have so much stuff in my head and I don't know where to start. The feeelings in my body is everywhere and so many times I just feel nothing, just empty and lonely.
My mom told me it's okej to feel sad for yourself and that is what I do now. Everybody else has someone to turn to, someone to hug and that knows their feelings, but I'm all alone in a different country without anybody that is in my situation. I have friends here that is awesome and helpfull but is not even close to the same thing, I just want to be with my family or a partner (that does not excist), to feel loved.
 
Everybody tells me that "soon you will be home for christmas and you will meet them", they are right, but after that I probably don't want to go back to London, and I have too so we will have to see how I feel then. Right now I just want to go home!
I'm so confused!
 
 

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